'Do you support me marrying Derrick?': Young twentysomething gets engaged after 6 months, cuts off sister for voicing concerns

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Ben Weiss • Writer and Editor
Feb 9, 2023 2:00 PM EST

Getting engaged after 6 months at 24 is going to raise some eyebrows. I hate to break it to this Redditor, but her sister is certainly not going to be the last person to voice some level of concern. The bride-to-be shared her story via this thread on Reddit's r/AmITheA**hole subreddit, and let's just say that the ruthless judges of the AITA community were less than kind.

 

Now, I understand that every relationship moves at its own pace, and perhaps for this couple, that amount of time is appropriate for them. However, the real red flag for me was just how eager and willing her fiancé was to cut the sister out of their lives. That could be a sign of many things, and virtually none of them are good. Keep scrolling below for her full account of the story and to see her get ripped apart in the comments section. For more stories like this, check out this post about a teacher's clever loophole in response to a dumb school policy.

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  • 01
    Hand - "AITA for not inviting my unsupportive sister to my wedding?"
    via Jake Pierrelee
  • 02
    Font - AITA for not inviting my unsupportive sister to my wedding? I (24 F) got engaged to Derrick (30 M) one month ago. Prior to that, we had known each other for six months. I know that's not a long time, but when you know, you know. We are madly in love and ready to commit ourselves to each other fully.
    via u/unsupportivesister
  • 03
    Font - My sister (26 F) has a problem with that though. She was supportive of my relationship with Derrick before we got engaged. When I sent her a text telling her we were engaged, she responded by saying "congratulations." But then when I saw her the week after that, she got all serious and said I should strongly consider the marriage.
    via u/unsupportivesister
  • 04
    Font - She told me I was young and could meet people I loved more. That was offensive to me because I love Derrick more than anything, and she's basically saying my love isn't that important. She also told me that Derrick and I could date for longer before we got married. But we are already fully committed to each other, so we might as well get married and be recognized as soul mates in the eyes of the law.
    via u/unsupportivesister
  • 05
    Font - Anyway, the conversation was so hurtful to me. I eventually asked her, very directly, "do you support me marrying Derrick?" She said no. So I stood up, told her she shouldn't be at the wedding if she didn't want us to get married, and left. I haven't talked to her since, although she has texted me multiple times asking to talk.
    via u/unsupportivesister
  • 06
    Font - Derrick and I were working on the wedding guest list yesterday, and we both agreed my sister should not come if she doesn't support us. So we are planning not to invite her. I mentioned this to my friend yesterday, and she pointed out that it may be a little rude of me not to invite her. So, AITA for not inviting my unsupportive sister to my wedding?
    via u/unsupportivesister
  • 07
    Font - DaLoCo6913- 23 hr. ago edited 22 hr. ago & 2 More YTA. You have not known him long enough to actually love him, you are infatuated. On top of that you are ready to ruin the relationship with your sister for a guy you actually do not know? Edit: The fact that he is ready to allow for estrangement is very concerning. Second edit: Narcissists and abusers like to isolate their victims. That is my concern regarding him encouraging the rift with her sister. 54.4k Reply Shar
    via u/unsupportivesister
  • 08
    Font - lihzee 23 hr. ago Judge, Jury, and Excretion... I don't know if YTA per se, but I think you're being very naïve and I agree with your sister. 21.7k Reply Share
    via u/unsupportivesister
  • 09
    Rectangle - CivilAsAnOrang 23 hr. ago YTA. You're upset because your sister expressed honest concern. Your response was childish. And kicking her out of your wedding is equally so. 15.7k Reply Share
    via u/unsupportivesister
  • 10
    Font - It_s_just_me. 23 hr. ago Certified Proctologist [22] YTA, six years older man, 6 months total length of relationship. That is throwing red flags all over the place. Your sister is trying to protect you. It is possible that your relationship will be OK, but I'd doubt it. 9.2k Reply Share
    via u/unsupportivesister
  • 11
    Font - 20DE Own-Whereas-7420. 23 hr. ago edited 23 hr. ago YTA. I'm sorry, but 6 months ain't enough. What's people's problems with waiting? I don't get it.. y'all can't be madly in love for like a year or something?? Also, your sister is just concerned. It doesn't mean she doesn't like your fiancé or is "unsupportive" of y'all's relationship, just the 'getting married so fast' part. 7.4k Reply Share
    via u/unsupportivesister
  • 12
    Font - squirrelsareevil2479. 23 hr. ago Certified Proctologist [23] YTA. Getting married is not being recognized as soulmates in the eyes of the law. You don't have a realistic view of what marriage is. Your sister is supporting you by giving you the best advice she can. Are you willing to torpedo your relationship with your sister forever because she hurt your feelings regarding your relationship? If your relationship is meant to last, it will survive a reasonable amount of time before the wedd
    via u/unsupportivesister
  • 13
    Font - RememberKoomValley. 22 hr. ago YTA, and she's not being unsupportive of your relationship, she's being supportive of you. 3.3k Reply Share
    via u/unsupportivesister
  • 14
    Font - Common_Exam_1401. 23 hr. ago INFO: How much about Derrick do you know? because I feel like your sister maybe right about not wanting you to get married, I mean you've only dated 6 months and he pops the question, that's very suspicious if you ask me 2.5k Reply Share
    via u/unsupportivesister
  • 15
    Font - Frank_Acha 23 hr. ago She also told me that Derrick and I could date for longer before we got married. This is very valid concern from a sister that want's the best for you. Six months sounds like an awfully short time to already consider someone your "soulmate". You both may disagree with her, but this concern is reasonable. She was honest and direct about it instead of telling you exactly what you wanted to hear. And you reply to that by being petty and vengeful not inviting her to your
    via u/unsupportivesister
  • 16
    Font - Pepper-90210 · 23 hr. ago Colo-rectal Surgeon [46] YTA. Your sister said nothing negative about Derrick or your love for one another. She gave you incredibly GOOD advice. If my 24 year old sister got engaged after only a few months of dating, I'd give the same advice too. (It's concerning to me how readily you and Derrick are to cut your sister out. This is a big red flag to me). 1.6k Reply Share
    via u/unsupportivesister
  • 17
    Font - sarcastibot8point5 - 22 hr. ago I'm going to tell you this right now: Love is not a feeling. Love is an action. Love is work. Six months into a relationship is not long enough to know that you are ready to put in the work that it will take to maintain it. I've seen too many relationships that start like this and end in flames.
    via u/unsupportivesister
  • 18
    Font - purplewoodcarver 23 hr. ago you can invite (or not) anyone you want, but yta for not realizing more than half the people there will privately have the same concerns. Your sister cared enough to say it to you directly.
    via u/unsupportivesister
  • 19
    Font - Far_Opening2859 - 23 hr. ago This would confirm your sister's suspicions- that you are not mature enough to take such an important decision. She was honest when you asked her directly, and you are behaving like a teenager. YTA.
    via u/unsupportivesister

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family drama aita sisters wife husband wedding family engagement reddit thread Reddit
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